Okay, so for months my boyfriend and I have had plans to go to YOUMACON 2010 together with a couple of friends. But now that the weekend is here he's decided to turn into a bit of a jerk stating that he'snot going to be comfortable around a bunch of 'weeboos' and forty year old virgin men dressed as sailor moon (his exact words).

I tried explaining to him that for one thing he's being utterly rediculous and that another thing its going to be fun. Then he goes on to stating on how its a big sacrafice for him to go and how uncomfortable he'll be.

Well I just told him "fine you dont have to go if its that big of a deal" I mean...really? What does he expect me to do? Cancel just because he's uncomfortable? Okay I'm sorry I preregistered MONTHS before him and I started dating, I paid the 100 dollar premium pass fee and am going whether he likes it or not.

But am I just over reacting to him blatantly insulting what I like? When he pretty much plays WoW, Dagohir (Live action Role-playing) does weed now and then and plays D&D? I mean, I've asked if I could play D&D w/ him, I refuse to play WoW though and asked when his next DAGOHIR meet or w/e is so I can watch. As far as I'm concerend I think I've been pretty supportive of what he likes. But when I comes to Anime and manga and me liking it he goes "Silly Weeboo, you and your cartoon porn and the furries and the men who dress as sailor moon".

To be honest I'm seriously hurt. Neil is a sweetie but when it comes to this sort of thing he's just not accepting at all, stereotyping and claiming that when we're together 'Weeboos" have no common sense. He also thinks I'll ditch him, I invite dhim for cripes sake why would I ditch?

-sigh- p.q so what do you guys think?

I say go and if he doesn't like it then don't force him.

I would love to go to things like that but my husband is the same way, he doesn't even see a point behind me dressing as an anime character for Halloween. I mean we have two kids and yes I am 24 going on 25 I still like to retain some of my childhood lol.

Maybe you should introduce it to him slowly instead of throwing him right into something like YOUMACON, depending were you live at I might be able to point you into the direction of some good yet small conventions. It might make it easier for him to adjust so that you can let him see why you like it and show him that you won't ditch him.

I hate to say it, but speaking from years of relationship experience, this seems like a really bad sign. The event itself might not seem overwhelmingly significant, it's just the kind of thing you look back on later and think, "I should have seen this coming"... There's the disrespect toward the things you like and judging others who are different element, as well as the not willing to go along with something and make the best of it aspect, Sorry to seem so negative...

Hmmmm. He's never been to an anime convention before? Maybe he isn't creeped out by the "weeaboos" but is rather afraid of other people judging him that way?

I'm not any relationship expert at all. I've only ever had one boyfriend and we have been together for almost 9 years now =X

I would say, sit down with him and sincerely tell him that this is something you're interested in and it's your hobby and although he might not exactly agree with it, to at least humor you by coming along and giving it a try one time. It's not as bad as he thinks.

This Youmacon is my 12th or 13th con since my boyfriend and I started attending cons in 2005. I am in no way shape or form a "weeaboo". I just have an inner fan girl that only comes out in private or when extremely provoked, haha.

Anyhow. I am super excited for Youmacon! Maybe we will run into each other! I will be cosplaying with my bff Becky as Mario & Luigi (I'm Mario) and I'll also be dressed in Lolita. If you see me you can just run up and ask if I'm the girl from Dokuga~ haha.

First off...my BF is OBSESSED with Dagorhir...it's one of the reasons we met. It sounds to me like you need to tell him how you feel about this...it obviously upsets you more than you let off to him, and I don;t think he understands why it upsets you.

My bf doesn't understand my obsession with SessKag, but he is supportive...and since you are being so supportive of him, he needs to at least try this for you.

first off... what the heck is a weeboo?!

Secondly, and I hate to say it but... knifethrower is right. (I hate to say it because she IS right, not because SHE said it) This is a bad sign of bigger things to come. I'm sure he's a sweetie, but if he fails in the basics, such as supporting your interests then its just a matter of time before other things start piling up too. This is a minor thing, but someday it may be something big.

Personally he sounds very juvinile. And believe me... I married one of the biggest kids on the planet, so I can fully appreciate the charm and endless frustration that brings. Its the way he spoke down about your interest that bothers me. He was insulting, and degrading. Perhaps he means to be funny, but he clearly isn't pulling "funny" off, and before long that sort of thing will wear you down.

My husband doesnt get the anime/manga thing either. And he teases me, but in a very affectionate way... he calls me his sexy anime geek, his little Star Wars nerd, or something like that but never is he insulting or offensive. He'd never want to go to a convention with me, but just as with many other things I've dragged him to, if its important enough for me to ask him to come, then he bites the bullet and makes the best of it.

Another concern is that he made a commitment to go with you. His inability to stick to that commitment and to rather bail last minute, suggest a greater character flaw. Like I said before, this is a minor thing (the convention) but these are all symptomatic of a bigger issue, which WILL eventually present itself in more promenant ways and destructive ways.

NO ONE, espcially not me, is suggesting that you break-up with him! Just that if you plan to be in a long term and commited relationship with him in the future, these are certainly important issues to hash out and solve with him. He MUST support you in the things that are important to you. He CANNOT be insulting, degrading, or offensive to you, as you disserve to be respected, which he clearly isn't doing. He NEEDS to work on keeping his word and sticking to the commitments he's made as any responsible and honorable adult man would do.

You haven't asked him to be an anime convert. You haven't asked him to go somewhere last minute. You just want to share your time with him and expose him to something you love. You've been fair and respectful of HIM so its about time he return the favor. If he didn't want to go he should have said so sooner, and without the dramatics of name-calling.

Good luck with this one.

p.s. no u arn't over reacting. in fact i dare say you are far more mild tempered about the situation than i would have been.

I completely agree with everything MoxyMikki said.
There's no reason a guy should be insulting and non-supportive of your interests when you've supported his; that comes off as selfish and disrespectful and I trust me...I'm currently divorcing a selfish, disrespectful prick.
One of the mistakes I made though, was I never sat him down and really told him *all* the things that bothered me...I kept my mouth shut to keep the peace and in a committed relationship, doing that has turned out to be a no-no. Talk to your guy about these things and try to get him to meet you half-way.
And no, you're not overreacting.

Unfortunately I have to agree with the more negative side of things, and no you are not overreacting. Even if he doesn't like the same things that you do, he should not expect you to stop your plans or even insult you as he did. Logically if A. he believes those that go are weeboos and B. you are going. Then C. stands to reason that he sees you as a weeboo. Whatever that actually is.

Try sitting him down and explaining to him that while you understand the two of you are going to like different things, you still expect to receive the respect you give him in regards to what he likes. Even if he doesn't want to go with you or what not, he should respect your decision to go.

A good example would be my husband. He hates anything about anime, fan fiction, Inuyasha...Probably because it's usually all I talk about lol. But when I start talking about it, he'll stand there and pretend to listen. While this might sound like a bad thing, it's not. I much prefer him to pretend to listen, nodding his head every so often, than just walking away or telling me to stop talking.

But as much as he hates all things anime, he understands that it's a big part of my life and puts up with a lot because of it. And I in turn pretend to listen to the things he talks about that I don't like. If I was to tell him that I wanted to go to something like YOUMACON he'd say go for it, as long as we have the money, but don't expect me to go. The same can be said for me when he goes outdoor rock climbing, I would basically offer to make him lunch or take pictures, but that's it. I can do indoor but not outdoor climbing.

But that's how relationships work. You are going to have different ideas of what you wanted to do, if you agreed 100% of the time you'd be dating yourself, and the goal is to make sure both parties give the other the same respect they want for themselves.

I really hate to jump on the negative train of thought too, but my line of thinking matched Knifethrower's exactly when I read your post.

Plus, a promise is a promise. If he knew how much this meant to you, he could have put up with going to make you happy.

It's a blessing in disguise though that he is showing his true colors early in the relationship. I had a boyfriend in the past who seemed sweet as pie at first, then turned into the biggest, degrading jerk as he got more comfortable with our relationship.

Try talking to him and explain how much your interests mean to you and how hurt you are that he doesn't want to go. Watch his body language and his eyes. If he is rolling his eyes or acting funny, I would be concerned for the future of the relationship like the others said.

Reading through everyone's responses I find everyone has valid points. Here is my take:

I have been with the same guy since I was 14. We just celebrated our nine-year anniversary this year, have been engaged for about three and are quite content with each other. Though we have a lot of the same friends, we also have different ones. Most of our friends are very similar to us; nerds/gamers. I have some friends who do LARP (live action role-playing), some that are just into games, others who do the anime conventions in our area, such as Dragoncon.

All in all, we understand one another. But there are always things that we each like an dislike. I have a couple of friends who are not into video games, doesn't understand the purpose behind anime conventions, and think my infatuation with fan fiction is bizarre. They just shake their heads, smile, and go on with life.

I have others who read manga, watch anime, or even go to conventions, but don't understand my love for Inuyasha. They tease me almost mercilessly, but I know it is all in jest. They say things in such ways that I know it is jest.

My own fiance doesn't understand my love for Inuyasha, or why I like the Sess/kag combo, but he just smiles, nods, and lets me go about my business (so long as it doesn't interfere with me giving him attention ).

My point is this. He could be a great guy. He could be the sweetest person alive. But I have seen too many of my friends' fiasco relationships to not read the signs here:
1) He obviously doesn't respect your likes and preferances if he completely blows off the entire idea, and then degrades it. I am not really one into conventions. But I have never been. I say in most cases (food doesn't count ) don't knock it 'til you try it. If I could ever scrounge up the money for it, I would go to an anime convention. I may not like it, but the experience would be fun just to experience it, and if I don't like it and never do it again, well at least I tried it. He won't even give that a shot. I don't like that.
2) He promised early on he would go. There is one thing I cannot stand, it is broken promises. Break a promise with me, and I will incur a wrath worse than Kagome and Sesshoumaru combined could ever bring! I REFUSE to even make a promise unless I KNOW I can keep it. No ifs ands or buts about it. To me, by promising he would go, and then breaking that promise, it is not only disrespectful, but if you allow him to continuously break promises without retribution of some sort (even if it is only a forty minute lecture) then he will walk all over you. I would know. Have been there and done that with multiple people.
3) I couldn't tell if this was being said or not from the wording. But from what I gathered and what others seem to be saying I will address this anyways just in case. I almost get the impression he is trying to get you to not go either. If this is the case I have plenty to say about that. For starters, this is beginning of a controlling streak. If this is the case, it would probably be wise to get out of the relationship. I have seen too many of my friends end up with really sweet guys who had a massive control problem. Some it got to the point of actual mental and verbal abuse. No one and I mean NO one has the right to tell you what to do but you, regardless of what it is. I don't care if it is the right or wrong thing. It is your life to make your own choices and man up to any consequences for those choices. NEVER let anyone tell you what to do. Listen to advice, but control your own life. Secondly, by telling you not to go is yet another form of disrespect. Not only have you already paid for the convention, but have had plans to go for months. Anyone who would tell you to waste money and time like that obviously doesn't care or respect you.
4) Here is something I notice no one else has brought up. What he said about the convention and those who go there bothers me in many ways. Some have already been mentioned. Others have not. Here is what I think. By saying what he did, he not only insults those who attend the convention, but he actually insults you as well. You are one of those "weeboos" going and dressing up. Not only is he disrespecting those who attend, but he is disrespecting you as well by saying what he did. He may not have referred to you or meant it for you, but considering his words, yes it does refer to you. Moreover, I am HIGHLY offended by what he says. Not only am I one who would dress up or possibly even attend to some of these events, but it is also a jab at friends of mine who yearly attend these events. I am even one who would dress up as Harry Potter for the midnight showing of the movies first entrance and even get into "wand duels." My friends may tease me saying they will "pretend they don't know me," when I do, but overall, they don't care. I may even dress up as Kagome, or Sailor Moon, or another anime character for an anime convention. And I am not a "40-year old virgin."

No, his comments are disrespectful, uncalled for and uncouth, insulting, and degrading. Not just to those who participate in conventions, but to you, me, and anyone else. It doesn't matter if there are 40-year old men dressing as Sailor Moon. It is their choice. He can get over it. He cannot control what others do. He doesn't even have to like it or associate with those people. This is for you and him to have fun. He should be able to find SOMETHING that makes the trip fun for himself.

No, to me, not only does this sound like a bit of a control trip as well as an exuse to get out of this for some reason.

I apologize for my brashness, but this is a sort of situation I have see occur timeless times with friends and peers. I would not wish that on my worst enemy. I don't know you or have ever met you, but I find my heart going out to you. So I apologize for the brashness, but I am talking to you like I would my own friends when they ask for advice.