This is just for fun and meant to be humorous so don't take it seriously.

For those that write, what are some odd things you've learned that do/don't work or things you should never do?

I'll start out with an example....
NEVER write metaphoric poetry after taking pain killers. The results are not good.

What are yours?

Never beta/edit while intoxicated

Never, ever beta/edit/write while in a pissy mood especially if it's romance you're writing - it gets quite testy; as for angst - let's not go there.

Never write a fic while:

riding a bike

swimming

bungee jumping

watching infomercials

Bacon bunties and rum doesn't make your fics better, it makes them cracki-er.

And never write while watching MST3K, it seriously messes up your ability to write a serious fic. You end up making fun of your own writing, get intoxicated, making fun of it more and being reduced to a giggling mess at 1 am in the morning. Sadly, I’m not making this up, ask my husband. I had to scrap one of my fics because I could no longer look at it without lol’ing.

Good writers avoid cliches...like the plague.

~.^

Should avoid:
-watching a funny movie while trying to write a serious story, it always backfires (has happened one too many times)

- trying to write a story when you have animals crawling all over your computer, fur and buttons don't mix well (another frequent thing that happens to me)

- never try to write when friends/family/ or husband in my case is in the same room because then they will proceed to read over your shoulder and give pointers (some good and some very bad!) or worst try to write your story for you!

Try not to nitpick your story. I've had to restart a story I'm trying to write multiple times now. It's about to drive me up the wall! I'm thinking to far ahead in the story.

Also, don't try to write anything while sunbathing in your yard. The neighbor's dog will always, ALWAYS come over and slobber on you and your papers. I don't know what he feeds her, but it's like paste.